Here we are back again to blog. My previous official "KPAX" blog got nuked by the unseen 'higher ups' in the company but I think it's probably more a function of technology moving faster than we can figure it out. No hard feelings.
When I last wrote, I was in the middle of 'canser' treatment. I spell it that way to teach it a lesson about messing with the wrong person. Read the book "Crazy, Sexy Cancer" for more on that.
Breast cancer. ick. Now, my hair is growing back---almost good enough to ditch the wig although I'm still too vain and I still look like I could knock you flat while drinking a shot of Jack Daniels, especially if i'm wearing a tank top. Not exactly feminine is my point here. Kind of scary.
The chemo put ten pounds on me...I blame the chemo but it might actually be the six months of doing nothing but resting and eating that did it. My fingernails are getting back to normal after the Taxol messed them up...but i can feel an electrical charge in my feet when i shake my head a certain way. Odd. But if that's all I have to deal with, i'm good.
I remember at the beginning of the canser horror how I made a deal with God that I don't care what has to be cut off, if my hair never grows back or if I gain 100 pounds, I just want to live. It's funny how the vanity seeps back in. I know this experience has changed me but I can't figure out how yet. I haven't had that moment when I know everything is different and I am changed. Maybe it takes some time. It seems like everything in my life is back to the way it was before I faced death. That just can't be right.
Any of you cancer survivors feel that? And do you ever get over the fear that the cancer is coming back, even worse this time?
I'm going to post this now and see if it works!
See you on Tv
Jill
Thanks so much for sharing Jill...People always are curious and want to ask the questions you have answered, but are afriad to hurt someone by asking. It's the little personal things you go through that people don't see or know about. I appreciate you not "hogging your journey".
ReplyDeleteShelly w/FauxPink Health Inc.
Ditto what Shelly said .... I hope that at some point you will consider writing a book about this experience. With your sensitivity, insight and intellect, it would be a most welcome by any reader, seems to me. Cheers !!
ReplyDeleteHi Jill, there you are! I was wondering how come you hadn't posted in awhile from your other blog. I also ditto what Rys said...I want to read the whole story from start to finish too! I am now a follower, and if you click on me...it should bring you to my real blog, not Facebook. I am so glad that you are getting back to normal. I can't wait to see your new do!
ReplyDeleteCharmine http://adventuresofabreastcancersurvivor.blogspot.com/